Skype family
mona rae
I. Everything is Temporary
Everything is temporary
My mother says
Across 3,537 miles
And 5 time zones
Back home in America
And yet she is 8,764 miles
And 12 time zones
Away from home in the Philippines
I tell her about Estrella Catalan’s funeral
The Filipina nurse
Who died of COVID-19
She tells me about the shootings in Atlanta
And the rise of hate crimes
Against Asians and Pacific Islanders
She just sat down
We just started talking
But her break is already over
It used to be an hour
Before they busted the union
And dispersed the strike
Who cares for the carers?
She tells me everything hurts
Worse than it did three weeks ago
The last time we spoke
She used to have support
Before the pandemic
Claimed her colleagues
And her connection to home
I’m coming home
I tell her
As soon as I can
But I said that before
Seven years of depleted savings
Seven years of extortionate visas
She used to be essential
Before her essential heart clogged
And her essential feet swelled
And her essential hands eroded
Who cares for the carers?
They told her she couldn’t take time off
The same hospital
That told her she needed surgery
They told her, her job is at risk
The same hospital
That told her she wasn’t fit to return to work
They told her she was a hard worker
The same hospital
That told her to take it easy
They told her to smile more
The same hospital
That paid her less
Who cares for the carers?
She tells me she can’t visit this year
But she said that before
Seven years of not accruing enough sick days
Seven years of taking it out of paid time off
I tell her we could meet in the Philippines
It’s been fifteen years
But still too late
Maybe for Undas
One big family reunion
Around Lola’s grave
Who cared for the lonely mother
Of my lonely mother
While she cared for lonely mothers
I tell her to turn on her camera
I haven’t seen her face since Christmas
Everything is temporary
Even my mother
II. ok
I send my sister
a photo
of a double rainbow
Rainbow is her favourite colour
ok
She replies
Sometimes, she answers the phone
Most of the time, she sticks to routine
Her days are good
Going to her programs
Then out with friends
My days are not
But I got indefinite leave to remain
After five years
ok
She replies
I send my sister
a video
of a seal
Seals are her favourite animal
ok
She replies
I send my sister
Unwrapped Christmas presents
Between Halloween and Thanksgiving
But the customs labels give it away
Word searches
Her favourite
ok
She replies
I send my sister
A couple of pizza pies
For her birthday party
Despite the transaction fees
Plain pizza
Her favourite
ok
She replies
I send my sister
Photos of my citizenship ceremony
And tell her I can finally come home and visit
ok
She replies
But my British passport arrives
With news of lockdown
I tell her to stay home
She tells me I’m mean
Sometimes, she answers the phone
Most of the time, she hangs up
But her programs shift onto Zoom
And her friends can’t come over
Not her usual routine
I tell her to wear a mask
And wash her hands
And social distance
ok
She replies
But Mom’s boyfriend watches Fox News
Sometimes, she answers the phone
For a long time, she doesn’t
Her carer tested positive for COVID-19
I do not eat – I do not sleep
And I do not stop checking my phone
For updates – results
My sister sends me
A short
But long-awaited message
It’s ok – I’m ok
III. An Equal and Opposite Reaction
For every action
There is an equal
And opposite reaction
My father says
Then asks if I’m still there
I tell him I’m listening
I just didn’t want to interrupt
The topic changes
The conversation remains one-sided
He’s still waiting for his stimulus check
And his social security
But my Christmas card arrived
Six months late
Thankfully,
The post office didn’t charge him
This time
The topic changes
The conversation remains one-sided
They didn’t have power for a few days
There was a brown out
There was a storm
So many storms
I remember Haiyan
One year after Sandy
I didn’t know if he survived
They also need to replace
The pump for their well
But can’t
Until the stimulus check comes
Until social security comes
I listen for roosters in the morning
And lizards in the evening
And enlarge sporadic pictures
A red roof
In the banana trees
And the blue ocean beyond
Are you still there?
He asks
I tell him I’m listening
I just didn’t want to interrupt
He tells me he played tennis today
And then drums
But he is alone
I tell him I feel alone, too
But my alone does not entail
State-sanctioned death squads
Nor trespassers with machetes
In the middle of the night
He tells me he has to get to bed
He has to pick up my half-brother
First thing in the morning
A six-hour drive to Cebu and back
(But everyone wears masks and face shields)
My half-brother is a dual citizen now
I tell him congratulations
And my half-sister’s appointment is next week
I tell him good luck
A three-hour flight to Manila and back
(But still no vaccine)
He tells me to say hi to my sister,
Twelve hours in the past
I tell him good night
In the middle of the afternoon
IV. lockdown
Families will be reunited
At the end of December
In time for Christmas
At the end of March
In time for Easter
Just not mine
Stop being a victim
They said
And yet
They couldn’t cope
Without a birthday party
Or a holiday abroad
It gets easier
After ten years
I almost comment
But I don’t
Because it doesn’t
It’s just for a semester
I said
Twelve years
And seven visas ago
But that was before we met
I applied again
And again
For a little more time
Just a little more time
But uni ended
And we began
A train to London
A coach to Norwich
A long distance relationship
But the Post-Study Work scheme ended
And the hostile environment began
Newark Terminal B
Heathrow Terminal 3
A long engagement
Redundancies,
recessions,
requirements
Two years
too late
To meet
It’s just five years
I said
Seven years
And seven visas ago
But that was before
The pandemic,
The election,
The referendum
We’ll figure it out
We said
After the fiancée visa,
The spouse visa,
Leave to remain,
Indefinite leave to remain
But I was made a citizen
And you were made redundant
And life remains in lockdown
Just as it did before
Rules change
Costs rise
And my family
Ages in front of a camera
I’ll visit soon,
I say
But
Everything is temporary
My mother says
Across 3,537 miles
And 5 time zones
Back home in America
And yet she is 8,764 miles
And 12 time zones
Away from home in the Philippines
I tell her about Estrella Catalan’s funeral
The Filipina nurse
Who died of COVID-19
She tells me about the shootings in Atlanta
And the rise of hate crimes
Against Asians and Pacific Islanders
She just sat down
We just started talking
But her break is already over
It used to be an hour
Before they busted the union
And dispersed the strike
Who cares for the carers?
She tells me everything hurts
Worse than it did three weeks ago
The last time we spoke
She used to have support
Before the pandemic
Claimed her colleagues
And her connection to home
I’m coming home
I tell her
As soon as I can
But I said that before
Seven years of depleted savings
Seven years of extortionate visas
She used to be essential
Before her essential heart clogged
And her essential feet swelled
And her essential hands eroded
Who cares for the carers?
They told her she couldn’t take time off
The same hospital
That told her she needed surgery
They told her, her job is at risk
The same hospital
That told her she wasn’t fit to return to work
They told her she was a hard worker
The same hospital
That told her to take it easy
They told her to smile more
The same hospital
That paid her less
Who cares for the carers?
She tells me she can’t visit this year
But she said that before
Seven years of not accruing enough sick days
Seven years of taking it out of paid time off
I tell her we could meet in the Philippines
It’s been fifteen years
But still too late
Maybe for Undas
One big family reunion
Around Lola’s grave
Who cared for the lonely mother
Of my lonely mother
While she cared for lonely mothers
I tell her to turn on her camera
I haven’t seen her face since Christmas
Everything is temporary
Even my mother
II. ok
I send my sister
a photo
of a double rainbow
Rainbow is her favourite colour
ok
She replies
Sometimes, she answers the phone
Most of the time, she sticks to routine
Her days are good
Going to her programs
Then out with friends
My days are not
But I got indefinite leave to remain
After five years
ok
She replies
I send my sister
a video
of a seal
Seals are her favourite animal
ok
She replies
I send my sister
Unwrapped Christmas presents
Between Halloween and Thanksgiving
But the customs labels give it away
Word searches
Her favourite
ok
She replies
I send my sister
A couple of pizza pies
For her birthday party
Despite the transaction fees
Plain pizza
Her favourite
ok
She replies
I send my sister
Photos of my citizenship ceremony
And tell her I can finally come home and visit
ok
She replies
But my British passport arrives
With news of lockdown
I tell her to stay home
She tells me I’m mean
Sometimes, she answers the phone
Most of the time, she hangs up
But her programs shift onto Zoom
And her friends can’t come over
Not her usual routine
I tell her to wear a mask
And wash her hands
And social distance
ok
She replies
But Mom’s boyfriend watches Fox News
Sometimes, she answers the phone
For a long time, she doesn’t
Her carer tested positive for COVID-19
I do not eat – I do not sleep
And I do not stop checking my phone
For updates – results
My sister sends me
A short
But long-awaited message
It’s ok – I’m ok
III. An Equal and Opposite Reaction
For every action
There is an equal
And opposite reaction
My father says
Then asks if I’m still there
I tell him I’m listening
I just didn’t want to interrupt
The topic changes
The conversation remains one-sided
He’s still waiting for his stimulus check
And his social security
But my Christmas card arrived
Six months late
Thankfully,
The post office didn’t charge him
This time
The topic changes
The conversation remains one-sided
They didn’t have power for a few days
There was a brown out
There was a storm
So many storms
I remember Haiyan
One year after Sandy
I didn’t know if he survived
They also need to replace
The pump for their well
But can’t
Until the stimulus check comes
Until social security comes
I listen for roosters in the morning
And lizards in the evening
And enlarge sporadic pictures
A red roof
In the banana trees
And the blue ocean beyond
Are you still there?
He asks
I tell him I’m listening
I just didn’t want to interrupt
He tells me he played tennis today
And then drums
But he is alone
I tell him I feel alone, too
But my alone does not entail
State-sanctioned death squads
Nor trespassers with machetes
In the middle of the night
He tells me he has to get to bed
He has to pick up my half-brother
First thing in the morning
A six-hour drive to Cebu and back
(But everyone wears masks and face shields)
My half-brother is a dual citizen now
I tell him congratulations
And my half-sister’s appointment is next week
I tell him good luck
A three-hour flight to Manila and back
(But still no vaccine)
He tells me to say hi to my sister,
Twelve hours in the past
I tell him good night
In the middle of the afternoon
IV. lockdown
Families will be reunited
At the end of December
In time for Christmas
At the end of March
In time for Easter
Just not mine
Stop being a victim
They said
And yet
They couldn’t cope
Without a birthday party
Or a holiday abroad
It gets easier
After ten years
I almost comment
But I don’t
Because it doesn’t
It’s just for a semester
I said
Twelve years
And seven visas ago
But that was before we met
I applied again
And again
For a little more time
Just a little more time
But uni ended
And we began
A train to London
A coach to Norwich
A long distance relationship
But the Post-Study Work scheme ended
And the hostile environment began
Newark Terminal B
Heathrow Terminal 3
A long engagement
Redundancies,
recessions,
requirements
Two years
too late
To meet
It’s just five years
I said
Seven years
And seven visas ago
But that was before
The pandemic,
The election,
The referendum
We’ll figure it out
We said
After the fiancée visa,
The spouse visa,
Leave to remain,
Indefinite leave to remain
But I was made a citizen
And you were made redundant
And life remains in lockdown
Just as it did before
Rules change
Costs rise
And my family
Ages in front of a camera
I’ll visit soon,
I say
But
mona rae immigrated from the us to the uk to live with her british spouse. she is descended from generations of european and asian immigrants, including her mother, who moved to the united states from the philippines; her father, who moved to the philippines from the united states; her paternal grandparents, who moved to the united states from czechoslovakia and poland; and her maternal great-grandparents, who moved to the philippines from spain and china.
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